If you had asked me during my military days where I stood a post with a bottle of Brandy in my hand, that I would be the hope of a suffering alcoholic to overcome his addiction and save his life, I would probably have laughed at the notion.  Then I would drink to the impossible.  Yet, God works in mysterious and unpredictable ways.

I sometimes wonder how it happened to me.  Being an American from South Brunswick, New Jersey, without knowledge of India’s values and traditions.   Working in a country with people that I knew nothing about was beyond my comprehension.

I came to Hope Trust broken, beaten, ugly and lifeless.  Without direction, ambitions or goals. I walked in the door, in the clearest form of a nothing. 

Overcoming the hands of addiction is not an easy job.  In fact, it is probably one of the most difficult things in life.  I was shown… and I followed without the knowledge of what is to be?  I just walked with those who knew. In time, I started experiencing something I had perhaps never felt before:  happy.  I wasn’t drinking.  I was 25 years old and everyone kept telling me that I had my whole life ahead of me.  It was not too long after that, when opportunity knocked on my door and I accepted.  At the time, all other doors were closed for me and actually I did not have any options.  But now, I realize that I did have an option.  There are only two choices for alcoholics and addicts: Recovery or Active Addiction.  For the first time in my life I had a choice. During active addiction, I didn’t – I had to drink. I guess this is what is called ‘freedom’, the freedom to choose. I chose the path to better living.

Difficulties followed as I was phased into the role of a counsellor.  I was in the initial phase of recovery and it has its big ups and downs. I would find it tough to strike a healthy balance to deal with myself as I was dealing with others.  My emotions and my thoughts would race. I found it difficult to believe that I could do the right thing for another human being.  I was having enough trouble trying to do the right thing for myself!  I wanted everything faster than I could handle it while I was not even close to where I thought I should be.  I did not think I was good and in no time, I was on the fast track to losing myself again.  Feeling good about me was not in my line of sight during this time.  I stepped myself out of the field with no place to go, and in a struggle to find another option in life for me to take, but I couldn’t.  I tried being a Yoga instructor and took up classes. Little did I know, the answer that I was looking for was right in front of me but my self-obsessions did not allow me to see anything clearly, I was blind. 

A little while later, someone sat me down and said that I was doing a good job at counselling, and that they knew that I was capable and had good potential.  The one thing that struck me the most was when this individual said, “I can see that spark in your eye.”  From that day forth, I knew that this was  I was supposed to do  Helping people as they have helped me and develop a new way of life onto a path of positive energy and faith.  Counselling to me means friendship and guidance. It is a direction of faith and trust that creates a magical change towards hope, progress and prosperity. 

I lost a lot in my life due to the disease of addiction. These losses have been a gift in disguise.  Today, I have no regrets for what I have lost and have every bit of gratitude for what I have gained.  Today I have a life that I can be proud of, and look forward to so much more.  I have gained the strength that I never thought I had: to be of help to others, and more importantly, to ask for help.   Today, I cannot express in words, how grateful I am to those who said I can do it, that I too am special.  And to those who let me inside their home to tell me it’s okay, and made me who I am today: a counsellor, a friend, and most importantly, a good human being.  And only with that friendship and guidance, I choose to be.  Thank you to all! - Yohan Simpson

Yohan is an alumnus of Hope Trust and now is part of its Therapy Team.