‘King Baby’ is a personality type particularly common with addicts. It is characterized by the alcoholic or drug addict never growing out of their childish, or infantile, behaviour. In order to keep the sense of security when they had when they were younger, King Babies refuse to grow up – they behave immaturely because of a long list of dysfunctional thoughts and actions they harbor.
Who Is a King Baby?
A King Baby – or a Queen Baby in the case of a woman – will exhibit many of the following characteristics:
They are afraid of authority figures and try to work against them while simultaneously seeking approval and validation. They try to charm superiors they like, and intimidate people they don’t.
They are sometimes immobilized by the heights of their anger and frustration, and are unable to express it in a healthy way. They either withdraw and behave passive-aggressively, or burst out screaming and fighting, and throwing what is effectively a tantrum.
They catastrophize most situations and see the world in black-and-white.
King Babies are in denial, and they deliberately avoid looking at situations.
They are chronic complainers.
King Babies are addicted to thrills and highs. They do things for the adrenalin rush, and don’t have foresight.
They are obsessed with material things and make grand plans to achieve materials or money as a reward. Unfortunately, they don’t have the maturity or expertise to follow through with these plans.
The King Baby and the Lost Child
The King Baby personality trait is often a manifestation of a Lost Child still present in the addict. They feel worthless, alone and like they don’t belong. This can stem from deep childhood traumas where alcoholics and drug addicts are simply seeking the love and approval they were deprived off as a child. They are personally insulted when they are told “no” because in their minds, negative affirmations come with drastic consequences. When they are pampered and coddled, they feel safe.
When King Babies pursue something, they are unlikely to follow through with it. This failure greatly affects them and re-enforces their King Baby mentality, pushing them to attempt grand feats. The cycle continues. In order to break away from this vicious circle, King Babies have to admit defeat and pick up the idea of “I can’t, but we can.” They have to start forming actual connections with other people, and stop looking for constant approval. To do that, they need to heal the Scared Child that lies within. Instead of looking outside for love, King Babies need to start loving themselves.
In a King Baby’s mind, there are many contradictory beliefs. Their inner Lost Child clashes with their inner King Baby. The Lost Child believes it is undeserving, whereas the King Baby is entitled and thinks it deserves the best of everything. This dangerous internal conflict leads the King Baby down some dangerous paths. A very common one is addiction. The reason it’s exceptionally difficult for alcoholics or drug addicts have a difficult time during recovery, is that alcohol or drugs are a great source of comfort. When their comfort blanket is taken away, King Babies are left searching for other things to make them feel safe and warm.
How we Help them Grow Up
Hope Trust recognizes a King Baby’s impulsive desire to look for comfort, and work so strike a balance between providing them with what they need and teaching them to be independent. Hope trust provides specialized and individualized addiction treatment for addicts and alcoholics that enable them to keep their positive personality traits while changing their negative ones. King Babies have a child-like curiosity, an uncomplicated way of thinking and a strong moral compass – these are assets that will help them during their recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. At Hope Trust, clients are encouraged to look within themselves and are motivated to create positive change.